Support ... A cuss word?

 Last week, I was asked by one of the staff at the new ENTs office about support. As I had recounted my story about their ENT that was poor to assist me, she asked, "how can you be supported?" Well, this is a hard question. I have received little support from so many that this question put me to tears. I had had a difficult night trying to calm myself about this and to emotionally prepare myself for the upcoming appointment. 

I have been seen in Immediate Care multiple times for the same exact thing, again and again. My PCP referred me to the clinic again for an emergency referral. So, this means that because of the repeat visits, I have been referred again to see another one of the associates in the clinic. So? What will that take? I will not see Dr. MJ again and that pleases me just fine. I have had to put my foot down about two of their supposed diagnoses. I have been told that I have TMJ as well as trigeminal neuralgia; this, for them, would explain the amount of pain that I have been experiencing. Well! Two weeks ago, I had a wisdom tooth pulled. There was no pain from the procedure or even after that. If I had had these two diagnoses, I would have been in incredulous pain and suffering seriously. I had emailed my PCP and let her know of the procedure and the outcome and to put these diagnoses to rest. I am tired of all of this mess. Deeply tired and frustrated. 

How can we be of support to you ... this is a question that I must really think intensely about regarding my ear pain and the causes of it. How can the new doctor and clinic support me? Well, do not placate or squelch my concerns. I have expressed that this whole matter is oncogenic and that little can be done when chemotherapy has caused and continues to cause serious side effects and such damage. 

Support? help me with my anxiety and how to keep myself calm and from not moving from these clinics to someplace where the sun shines and there is no worries from this type of behavior. I am getting tired of it all and I am seriously considering moving away to find a new place to get better care. This has been on my mind quite a bit and I just am having a greater time squelching it. I simply wonder time to time if the troubles are from just a poor medical system. 

Just wondering.