Forgive me for not posting anything for a while. I have been so profoundly busy that it is unbearable. For the past year, the events of my life have been quite trying and difficult at the same time. Could there be anything else? Well, since I have been writing last, many events have been tearing at my life. First of all, my kiddo has been in and out of juvie; substance abuse has been her every moment and we have been in court every three months (on the average). This has been quite overwhelming. There have been three social workers involved and three foster families as well. Through this all, it has felt as though I have been chipped away slowly.
This all culminated to nearly 10 months in rehab and then when she was released? She was sent to another foster home, moved out and then ... I had told her one of the most difficult things ever. My cancer spread to my lung and within a matter of a week or so, she made plans to move to another state. My heart is deeply hurt and broken. I do not know how to express enough to have my thoughts vocalized. The thoughts that many have expressed to me are mixed with such disappointment and anger and many have been quite disappointed. Imagine that!
This has been a very long cancer battle. If the cancer itself does not kill me, family matters will.
I must remember that the stress of this must not overtake me. I must be willing to choose my poison.
Thinking. Hoping. Willing.
No comments:
Post a Comment