Saturday, November 27, 2010

What is the next step

So, the next step is what? There are many things to do. I have purchased oils, lotions, ointments and to continue with what I know. My health literacy began this previous summer. There are many things that I am learning and things that I am addressing that I have not wanted to address. This battle has really affected my emotions and this is my next big battle. During this, a family member passed away and I am helpless to be part of the family healing. I ask "what about me?" Sure, I am a strong woman, but I hurt just so much with the loss of my Aunt. But, grieving should not stop me from moving forward.

I have been experiencing rolls of emotions that must be identified and then attacked one by one. I know one that has been--violation. This violation years ago has left a deep stain that many do not understand. I was told "girl, get over it!". I have never told anyone the full details and I wonder about what the impact will be when I do share these things. What will happen when I share these things. Fault, blame, shame, humiliation and the evil cousins of this are coming out from the shadows. Let us move along on these things.

Today, my body really hurts. I am really looking forward to a great long soak in the bathtub and to relax.

Rocking on!

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