The anatomy of a touch

I know that I have been wanting to discuss this for some time, and now it is here. The anatomy of a touch really has something to it. Not many really think about it when they are receiving, but when there is an intent, then the actions are far more complicated and have greater implications. Let us begin.

For the most part, there are two aspects of a touch--the one giving and the one receiving. Touching has a purpose in itself; this purpose is to make contact. Contact has intention in itself as well. Contact may be to get another's attention or to see to the attention of someone else. Do you see how this can be quite intricate? The next time you intend to touch, be aware as to the intentions behind it. You will be amazed.

When I choose to touch, it is with a particular purpose. There is a threshold that must be crossed before a complete touch can be made. The person that I choose to touch must be in a particular distance that is in a comfort zone of myself or that person. I must be willing and the purpose behind my touch to be genuine. I think intently about touching. I think intently about being touched. This means that I must also take into consideration when someone else might be experiencing in a day. This means that I must be willing to understand their personal burdens, if there are any.

When it is time to touch, observing the body language is very important. This body language must mean they are willing to be touched. This is an expression of permission. If that permission is not there, then it is something that must be addressed carefully. Much like a hug, a touch must be welcomed. It cannot have the disired outcome if it is not welcomed. A touch is a precursor to a hug. If a hug is to be welcomed and to pack the power behind it, it must be initiated. Sometimes the eye contact of the person to receive the hug cannot be made; the hug may have a different impact. Perhaps the body language may indicate hesitation and so, raised outstretched arms is the welcome. Hesitation may have a message all in itself. Just the same, the welcome should be waited for and made. I have seen the hesitation once before from someone and I knew that I had to make the initiation.

When deciding to touch, there must be the complete conviction. The person receiving will know if the conviction of the touch is there. If it is just hapistance, it will be understood as that. Engage and be willing to be engaged. Look because there really is a body language behind it.

I know that at times, I have actually stepped back and physically displayed unwillingness to be touched or hugged. There have been many reasons for this that I have already discussed. But, willingness is the most key element of it all. I still am reluctant to be hugged at times, but I have to be aware that it can be more frustrating for some to not allow a touch or hug to happen. For some reason, they feel it is their fault when it is not. I have to be aware of that and aware that at times, my personal discomfort must be allowed to ride.

Looking on. Finding within. Touching on.