Taking hold of these

For the most part, I know these insecurities. I have been working diligently to work on many things. I can feel many things starting to bubble up and I know that some things are going to surface more than others. My anger is one thing that I am needing to explore. I have been burying my anger for years. There are many things that I am angry about with respect to this violation. I am angry over the cancer. But, I am angry with myself. I must be very careful about misplaced anger and aggression towards others. I am very glad that I have my dojo time. I have taken that time and opportunity to work out stress and anxiety. I am working to concentrate on developing more discipline in my physical activity and strength.

I did talk to N yesterday. It is nice that I do have someone that I can chat with when my head and heart days are a little more than what I would like. This will be good when I do not have to email PM. I really do hate that I get up in the middle of the night and have a rough time. She said that I can call anytime day or night. I am really not all that keen on calling during the early hours of the day; but, she did say that it was ok.

Thus far, my anxiety is ok. I do not feel all that great. My evening started out with a migraine and went to nausea. I feel like I am coming down with a cold; I am cold and cannot warm up. I cannot wait to get back to bed and enjoy a good night sleep.

Pusing on. Pressing in. Looking on.