Yesterday, one of my friends that I have not seen in a very long time came over to deliver some Christmas presents. I was really amazed at this because I have not seen her in a long, long time. She wanted to know how things were coming along and I did express to her very clearly how they were. I am finding that I must temper myself to some things. I did express to her some things are making me feel very insecure. I have been feeling very exposed and quite cantakerous about it. My feelings are very open and exposed.
I am feeling walled in again. I am feeling a bit withdrawn about my feelings. I am getting very tired of trying to push forward only to feel as though I am losing ground again. My feelings of wanting to be touched are being tested again. I have been experiencing feelings of betrayal from some others. An event happened this week that has left me feeling mocked and scoffed. I had responded to this will extreme violence and vehamence. One of my triggers is being gossiped about and this triggered quite a bit in me that I would not like to see again. But, I know that I will see it again at another time.
Presently, I am having an issue with being touched--again. I know that this will be for a season and things will improve. However, I must be patient. I really do not want to be, but there is little choice.
Pushing on. Pressing on. Touching on?
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