I have to say that today was very good. I got to see T at church and it was good to see him. I am reminded and reassured that the things that I have been working with are not dross. I am reminded that the radiation that I will be receiving in the next several months will not be so bad; however, I am very concerned just the same. This is going to be a different kind of journey altogether. I will not be hooked up to an infusion, rather be "zapped" with radiation. This is going to be potentially difficult.
Too, it was good to see T because he understands the flashbacks. I have been experiencing these for several weeks now consistently and it is driving me nuts. For nearly two months, I have been experiencing dreams, nightmares and flashbacks that have haunted me. In the same aspect, when I wake up from them, the LORD has given me music to hold me. I am very blessed on that regard. I have to use my SOS as well. My anxiety has been challenged and I need to rely upon the LORD for that SOS.
So far so good, though. When I got to church, I was expecting so much. When I was there, it was good to be able to absorb things slowly. My kiddo's boyfriend was not there to distract her and so she was very attached to me for the entire service. This was good. I did not have many come up to me and try to hug me or do anything else. I wanted to sprint on many occasions; however, I was good and did not. I walked quite a bit to keep from looking like I wanted to be still a lot. However, this was inside and I did not want my kiddo to be worried. It was very hard to sit still. I am working hard on this.
Pushing on. Pressing on. Timing on?
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